Future-focused Graduates Pillows

'Congratulations! This year we're saving money by letting all our graduates download their diplomas from our website.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Welcome to the future"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

Artifishial Intelligence

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Totalitarian Humour

"You always get to be the therapist! I never get to be the therapist!"

"When I grow up I hope to get into data storage."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'I had no idea there would be a test.'

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

Good Luck with your finals.

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

Tomorrow's world 2165.

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

"How about this? We carpet the road and use the resultant static electricity to power our electric cars."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Believing that clothes make the man, Dave goes for the 'smart guy' look.

Burbank Imposes Parking Fee on RVs

Budgetmageddon

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

'That piggy bank is for my college fund.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."