Future Cfo T-Shirts

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

Billy, can you deliver your show 'n tell this time without the fog machine?

Yearbook

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"#Win!"

The Evolution of the Bonus

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'