Future Career Strategizer Pillows

"I guess computer programmer is not going to be one of my career choices!"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

Do you have any other skills?

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'Thanks for the promotion offer but I was hoping to sleep my way to the top..'

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Yes, I'm sure you do deserve further career advancement. But if I promote you again you'll have my job!"

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"The itsy-bitsy spider went up the corporate ladder. And he didn't care how many lives he ruined along the way. I know, this isn't the book Simon & Schuster wants. But it's the damn truth."

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"

"Where do you see yourself five lives from now?"

'I'm looking for a job that satisfies my lust for power.'

"Jim, say hi to Tom, our severance consultant."

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

'My strength lies in my ability to deny my weaknesses.'

Something tells me his current firm aren't going to be happy to let him go!

"Fellow M.B.A. graduates of the Class of '91—hey, what can I say?"

"You're great at hindsight, but we need someone who is more forward looking!"

'My father's recipe for success was honesty and hard-work - luckily, I ignored it.'

"While we're protecting like hell against brain-drain, they come in and raid all our brown-noses!"