Future Book Critics T-Shirts

"The new 'Pat the Fire' book did not go over too well with some children..."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"We don't have to worry about being quiet until we're old enough to read that sign."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

No animals were harmed during the writing of this book report....

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"Let's go on vacation, get disappointed, complain about prices, read terrible novels, buy trashy souvenirs, miss the dog and look forward to coming home."

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

"With one hand I'm reading the past decade's most critically acclaimed novel. With my other hand I'm searching for enough negative reviews to justify my decision to abandon it."

"What I really want to do is chew up children’s books."

'Read any good book reviews lately?'

'My Christmas list-Chapter 1'

"She's always writing in that journal of hers. Maybe she'll be a notary public when she grows up."

Collected Works of F. Scott Fitzgerald. Listen to this ... In "the Last Tycoon" F. Scott Fitzgerald observed that there are no second acts in American lives. In my case, either he was right about that or this is a very long intermission!

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

"I was able to get you a 2-book deal."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"Your husband is critical."