Furniture Commandeer Pillows

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Interior design trends for parents....

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Surprise!"

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Fittd shēt

"The knights of the round accent table"

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

TV-Man

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

The Venus Flytrap Leather Sectional

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'