Fur Mom/dad T-Shirts

"He's always been a little needy, but the despair is new."

'How am I going to tell him he's no longer my best friend?'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

Babies vs. Dogs

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Fleas Navidad.

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

Cat Zoom Meeting

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

When is he coming home buddy?

'That's right...he'll lick you to death.'

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

'A vet!! Take Princess to a vet?'

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

'We've GOT to get the bullet out,,,'

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"

'Oh there you are...you naughty girl! What have you been up to this time?'

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

'She feeds me, walks me, washes me, and picks up after me...yet...I'm supposed to be man's best friend?'

"Pampered?"