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Cat with all the hair he has ever shed

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Dogs shaving

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

Babies vs. Dogs

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'That plant food really works!'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

'We've tried everything else without success and have now made the decision to adopt.'

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

When is he coming home buddy?

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"And they say WE have a shedding problem!"

"The emotional support goes both ways."

"He's sending an instant message."

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

Vets: 'That's funny, he was here a minute ago.'

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

"You've got to lay off the homework."

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

"Don't take it personally, Max — to him, you're just a dog."

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

Dog wearing gas mask brings slippers to his owner.

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

'I think I'm feeding you too much.'