Fur Buddy Friend Pillows

"You see, your brain is small and mine is bigger, but it can't be much bigger or I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you."

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

"A little help, please."

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were my dog Willie."

Boy and his dog

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

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'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

'Next!'

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'He's a tenacious lap dog.'

"If I adopt you, you're going to have to wake me up and walk me twice a day."

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

Over the years, Marvin began to look like his bull mastiff.

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Hold my calls for a while, Wilson."

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"I do like it here, but I'm ready for my own apartment."

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

"Do you think we should get a pet?"

'Ben has his own cute little ways to show his dislike for dry food.'

Owner Rolls Out Red Carpet For Large Cat

'Master is too lazy to walk us, so we walk each other...'

"Owning a pet is a big responsibility, not to mention never wearing dark clothing again."

'He's barking mad!'

'Can't one eat in peace!'

"Yes, I came back. I always come back."