Funny Home Improver T-Shirts

We have to find one that's big enough to hold our old beat-up can.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Tool Box

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

Conservation Area

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

A holiday at home

The Hammer

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

The Day Dreamer.

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"OK then, I admit it. Installing the log burner was a bad idea!"

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

Unicyclist painting a ceiling.

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

Man's best friend

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."

How to Build a Bungalow

"I told you you'd made that cat flap too big."