Funny Greeting Card Collector Prints

"Not a roll down my local!"

Ball as water-melon.

Missing You.

Reindeer

'And this is our new INTERACTIVE card - you buy the blank cardboard and write it yourself!'

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

Leaving cards.

'I'd like three dozen friendship cards -- this war has gone on long enough.'

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

"You have such beautiful eyes."

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

'One more thing -- My Dad says that if you bring me one more 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' tape, he'll rip off your beard and set fire to it.'

Who Typexed out the grass?

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

Post-Apocalypse Greeting Card

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Cards Galore.

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

Get well. Get down.

'If she doesn't get well do I get a refund?'

Greetings!

Valentines for Things

Cold Callers!

Greeting Card Shop: No Rhyme or Reason Cards.

"Write 'Get back to work, Simmons!' Sign it 'Warmly, Mr. Johnson' and 'P.S. get well.'"

Greeting Cards

'Relax Mrs Flanagan, I've never known a high fibre exorcism to fail yet!'

2After using the Internet all day, Brad doesn't like any kind of popup."

"That's a nasty cavity. That is why it is so important to brush your hair."