Funny Brother Mugs

'I'm all about quantity.'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

'Maybe the batteries are dead.'

A Punch and Judy Professor is visited by Death as a puppet.

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'@#$=%!} paparazzi!'

Bathroom Fairy

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

At the mobile tracking test lab.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

How witness protection really works...

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

'Say... I just had no idea the red haired freckled dutchmen were so good with kids!'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'Great! You mean it's obedience school prom season already!'

"Every five minutes it's 'feed me this, get me that' or something along those lines, I mean, I'm parrot-phrasing."

How Am I Driving?

"Not me, brother - you wake him!"

Santa Claus walks dogs

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

Little known fact #244: Cholera was not the #1 cause of death for children on the Oregon Trail

'Hello... Hare Club for Men...'

Sick Exhibitionist

Um, General Hannibal, a word if I may...

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."