Funny Breakup Storyteller Mugs

'This relationship just isn't working. I'm out.'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

'I've been happily married for 15 years... that covers 3 marriages.'

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

"I want something more out of this relationship. . . me!"

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"Recently separated."

"Omigod! It's the breakfast I made him for his birthday!"

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

'I'm sorry, but according to this there's nothing I can do. It appears your species mates for life.'

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

"I liked you better as my first husband."

'I didn't get the settlement I was hoping for...turns out I'd already spent most of his money while we were married.'

'We've agreed to divide your community property 50-50...50% for your wife and 50% for her attorney.'

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

"My ex weighs at least 5 lbs and is 23 inches. He usually hangs around the old dock, and prefers worms. Remember, you didn't hear it from me..."

"I've got to be honest with you. I've been married three times and each of them flew the coop."

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

"I want you to leave and take your headlong slide into oblivion with you."

"To motivate me to walk farther, I hired my jerk ex-boyfriend to follow me."

"It was ugly, she got custody of the tin cans, chewed tyre and the rusty bike pump... And I got the kids!"

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

"Let's face it, Diana. I'm not good enough for you, and vice versa."

"I'm sorry, Sparky... I don't think we're a good fit."

Late for his dinner date for the third time, Randy finds-out the real danger of 'Asalt' weapons. . .

"Look, I'm very sorry Judy but I really feel I need a new porpoise in life."

'By this time next year you'll be with someone new. You'll tell her about today and laugh. You'll laugh that snorty little piggy laugh of yours. She'll throw you out too.'

'Can't we just get a divorce?'

Early divorce settlement

HUSBAND FOR SALE - Am keeping the house.

Cakes For All Occasions, including Weddings & Divorces.

Which will open up a lane to hit my ex-wife's lawyer in section seven, row two, seat fine.