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Jock's Pets

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Say 'eh.'"

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

"A haand gel...!?"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

Latest Aye Phone

"This quarterly report is terrible. The only way we can make this sound better is if we read it in an English accent."

"Listen to you ... you've already lost your accent ... "

"What do you mean, I hardly moved all night? I was constantly dancing around politics, religion and the weather."

'Oops, actually, this is a cockroach I squashed the other day.'

"'Cheers'? 'Lorry'? 'Jumper'? You can talk, boy? And you're British??"

Man picking up an H for a lady who drops her Hs

Meanwhile in Yorkshire

"It's not just you. Neutrinos are going right through everybody."

Welcome to California. You may begin your Schwarzenegger imitation now

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

'Do you want me to serve you with a French accent or in just plain English?'

'You must be the angel of the north.'

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

"There! - It looks like you now!!"

"Nope, Jeb's my pardner. My partner is Zeke."

"What if I tried again with an English accent?"

'Quaint Ye Olde Diner,' with a sign 'Mom's home cooked meal, $3.50, Colloquial Native Chatter $1.00 extra.'

"The British say the word ‘privacy’ funny! The British say the word ‘privacy’ funny!"

"Sure I can help him: I specialize in pirate-talk..."