
'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'
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'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'
Very well, will that be paper or plastic?
"I like this idea of yours, Geerson!"
"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."
"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."
'While I'm here, what are your favourite hymns?'
'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'
"Given a choice, would you prefer to be buried, cremated or converted to fossil fuel?"
"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."
Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.
"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"
"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"
"What if you go under before I need to?"
"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."
"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"
"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"
"What do you mean, what's my favourite hymn?"
"Harold died happy knowing he gained a certain immortality through social media."
A signaller directing pallbearers
We think he's dead, but why don
'Do you think there's anything after death?'
'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'
'I tend to bury stuff.'
Coffin floating out of outflow pipe.
'You'd look good in that.'
'Yes, we can easily place a gallon of Rocky Road in with your husband.'
"I want my ashes scattered over Bergdorf's."
Tombstone: 'Paul F. Nelson, Doing the Dead Thing Exclusively at Greenmeadow Cemetery since Sept. 25, 2005'
"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."
O'Leary's Monuments
Sympathy Cards
Relax, it's fake fur.
"The doctors said it's just one of the side effects of the medication he's on."
'If we do meet again in the after-life, you don't know me, o.k.?'
"Of course, in life he was allergic to them."
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