Funeral Director Mugs

"Grief takes many forms. But don't worry, we're here to help you fill them out."

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'

The eulogy was beautiful, although the question-answer period was rather odd.

'It's our newest cremation model. Tank sold separately.'

"One more - Billy wasn't crying."

"Says here he leaves behind a wife, two children, and forty-seven Twitter followers."

"This will lighten your mood, Dick - every few minutes, a baby boomer turns fifty."

"Harry insisted on doing everything himself."

"This is our most popular model."

'Remind me to have a serious word with Mr Sillett over casual dress on a friday.'

"Don't worry, we can handle all the arrangements for your husband. We can even make it look like an accident."

Funeral Home: Gone to a better place ? Back in one hour.

'It was his last request. He was a track star in college.'

The mortician's lunch-box.

Drove the nurses crazy.

'I know he didn't pay his bills, but let's get the lien off the coffin.'

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

'I know you have a technical background, but here we call them caskets, not 'dropdown boxes.'

Bored at the City Morgue.

'Never cared what anyone thought - until the very end.'

'Stop complaining. You knew I was a funeral director when you married me.'

'Gosh, really? That must be pretty grim...'

"He's in denial."

Hearse with sign 'Body On Board'.

Funeral Directors: 'Morning Madam, why the long face?'

'Quit blubbering. This is why I hate taking you shopping.'

"That's much more than I can afford. Could you possibly cremate my husband just from the neck up?"

The hearse was a write-off. But at least no one was killed. Again.

Do you do cremations?

'I just don't understand why our Buy One Get One Free offer on coffins isn't popular!'

'...Because I enjoy working with people!'

"The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away. Nothing personal, it's just business."

Undertaker to mourning woman: 'For instance, we just customized one for a lawyer. He was buried in paperwork.'

"I've got a knocking coming from drawer 34. What's the procedure?"