Fundraising Wizard Gifts

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"We only got six days of funding."

"Our war is against cancer."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Pearly King and Queen

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"Well, we got the grant."

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

Lincoln v. Douglas - 2020

Making money for investors is simple

'J.B., there's not enough ROI on the IPO, YTD.'

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."