Fundraiser Fans Pillows

'I won't be here tomorrow, sir -- I'm attending a fund-raising seminar.'

'Are you SURE this is how Jerry Lewis got started?'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

"We only got six days of funding."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

"You can either make a pledge or join us in this weekend's Barkathon."

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

The nonprofit dog fight.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"What are we doing wrong?"

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fund raiser."

'So then the alien stepped out of the UFO and said that he was a fundraiser from another planet, which was quite novel, I thought.'

Appeals

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

'Profit or non-profit?'

"I do a lot for charity but I don't like to talk about it. . ."

Campaign Trail

Professional Fund Riasers

"I am not a candidate. Just ask my campaign manager, press aides and fund raisers."