Funding Strategist T-Shirts

'Ah, another grant has come through.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'The recession is over, again.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'Are we broke yet?'

"I just..."

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'The market shifted on me.'

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."