Fun With Absurdity T-Shirts

A production line adds condiments to cars

Escalator World

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"I need to tinkle."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"Now you can send it."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Operation.

UFO and snowman

Baseball.

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

'Did anyone hand in a mature stilton last week?'

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

Magnet at scrapyard

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

Trapeze artists commuting

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

The Bonvoy Age...

The Hypnotato,

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

Cow Pat Planning

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."