Fun-loving Surgeon Prints

"Okay lets close up. Oooh wait...wishbone!"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

Surgery Instructions.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Pinocchio has a nose job.

"And it'll stay clamped until you play my Usher CD."

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

Patients with HMO dread anesthesia.

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

'Just relax Mr Benson. I find having background music while I perform surgery helps me focus!'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

"It's cooties."

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

"I have a complaint about my bill."

'Spin GP'