Fun-in-the-sun Parent T-Shirts

"No, my mom isn't hosing us down with water to keep us cool. She's hosing us down with sunscreen to keep us from burning."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She's just great with the children.'

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

"Werewolves of London..."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'The kids were so sweet...'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'