Frustrated Package Receiver Prints

"Well, I have arranged the pick-up of your shipment, sir. Do you already want to raise the complaint about the miscarriage, sir?"

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

'Special Delivery!'

"When I said I wanted a pet, I meant a dog."

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

Car Dealer

'I guess I never should have quit the rodeo'

'I know yesterday was your birthday, but you're so hard to shop for.'

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

'You're supposed to fetch the stick back,not throw it.'

"It seems like our drones are causing a fuss over New Jersey. Should we go back to using trucks for these Christmas deliveries?"

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

Vampire picking up his blood delivery (Type O, Type A, and Type B).

"What don't you understand about 'fetch'?"

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

"Yes, I do all my shopping online. How did you know?"

"Snowman 1 to snowman 3... UPS delivery complete... FedEx approaching fast... Amazon not in sight... Over!"

This Side Up.

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

Do you know why the kitchen ceiling is dripping?

'Relax, lady, I'm out of the baby business. Now I work for UPS.

'I have no idea what it is, but 2357 customers bought this on Amazon.'

"This bottle is defective - it stopped pouring!"

"Online shopping saves me time, so I can work more to earn more to have the money to buy more stuff online..."

"As a matter of fact - We do offer free shipping."

'After seeing the latest fuel bills your Dad's gone nuclear!'

'I've joined the 'Cheque-book-of-the-Month Club!'

Advanced Origami

"Tell the delivery guy he was off about 100 feet again."

"... and bless the UPS driver, who endures my instinctive barks, growls, yelps and yips."

"If you change a couple numbers on you expiration date, you'll be old enough to buy us beer."

"How do we know the label isn't on upside down?"

' It says here....a typically quiet Spanish fishing village!'

Postman training.