Frustrated Failure Fantasizer Gifts

'Have one yourself, landlord - I've just failed my 1000th candidate!'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

'No it's still not fixed'

'You know creativity involves a high tolerance for failure, don't you?'

Self-Assembly Bookcase

"Dude—you're ruining my face—and when are you painting my hands—my ear is itchy—also you stink—hurry up!"

'I think I see your problem. You didn't use the swear words listed in the assembly instructions.'

"Hello... is that the help desk?"

'I think I should take my hubby for counselling. . . his brain and hands aren't on talking terms.'

"I cant do that! Who's gonna deliver the mail?!"

"Of course failure is an option; I use it all the time!"

'My website? Oh, it was a bit of a one hit wonder.'

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

A painter drawing a ship

Anger Management - Now Treating Fuel Price Rage.

"My third and final wish is for money and wealth—again!"

'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'

"The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly."

"By God, you're not a man who's afraid to fail."

'It's our, 'message in a bottle'... It says; 'Return to sender, due to insufficient postage'.'

"Would you like to pay with card, cash or the dim and shredded remains of my remaining dreams?"

"That laptop was expensive as hell but publishers are still rejecting my stories! I want my money back!"

"Don't you hate that? Now I think of the perfect last words!"

'I need someone who can relate to failure.'

"I put my best ideas on the internet and all I got was this print-on-demand shirt."

101 desert island jokes.

'Houston, I think we have a problem...'

'That must stand for Very Annoying Tax.'

"Effing self-publishing rejection!"