Frugal Senior Pillows

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"I just..."

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

Cheapskate Cruises

Piggy Bank Coin I.V.

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"We're going to need more pets."

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

'How much did you save this year?'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"What do you mean 'upgrade' the server? The old one works just fine."

"We've got a new financial advisor. I asked him how to cut down on out of pocket expenses and he said to stop wearing clothes with pockets."

"The company must save money. That's why we've got to be easy on the carpet."

'I think we may have an income problem.'

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"We're callin' 'im Bill, coz he came at the end of the month"

'The gas bill is a lot bigger than usual.'

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"C'mere, space heater."

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."