Frugal Phenom Pillows

"Malcolm refuses to pay the extortionate fees for school photographs."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"Is that neat whisky?"

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

"This is your great, great uncle Orlando. He was a great mathematician, but a little cheap. He always picked up the check at restaurants...but only to make sure the math was right."

"I know one secret! Not spending $30 on a book filled with common sense!"

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"Fuel poverty is not the same as being too mean to switch the heating on...."

How to do without

'Most of the dental floss gets thrown out on used. No wonder I'm always broke.'

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."