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"Looks like we can't afford early retirement. Even early death is getting out of reach."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

Expensive greeting cards.

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"I guess I really was spending too much money on lattes."

Pandora's box.

Electricity Bills

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

"Is that neat whisky?"

"Why pay for a tree in November when you can get one off the side of the road in January for free?"

"For Pete's sake, Helen, will you break down and buy a hair dryer!"

"He's given up trying to find anything else he can cut to reach 40% savings."

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"There's no getting away from the numbers....only by forgetting holidays, giving up drink, the cinema, meals out and socialising...will we be able to afford any quality of life when we retire."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

Bad times for retirees.

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'We've all had to cut costs a smidge.'