Friend With A Child T-Shirts

"Just wait 'til I've read this book."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

A young Don King

I will study my speling words...

'Ahhh...'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Twenty-first century baby walker

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

Boys making skis from bits of fence.

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'How was I to know that my invisible friend was so rambunctious?'

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

Fetching some fuel.