Friend Who Is A Mom T-Shirts

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

'No provision for day care, eh?'

'Inverted nipple? It's probably just incredibly shy.'

"Alexa picked it out."

Mom tries knitting to meditate...

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

'Ahhh...'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

Roe v. Wade

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"Sure, helicopter parenting is bad but drone parenting is way worse."

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"Don't worry, Emily. . . I'm woke and you're woke, so I'm sure our baby will turn out woke!"

Moms gone wild

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

Dog Walking and Child Walking.

Tradition v. Reality: 'My client agrees to 'love', but needs clarification on 'honor', and 'obey' is a deal-breaker...'

"I'm not his mom anymore—now I'm his life coach."

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

"Sorry I'm late, the crosstown is running local."

Mummies and babies having a natter over lunch.