Friend In Management Pillows

"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."

'Good news I'm ten percent under budget.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

Line Manager

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'What's wrong now?'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

Superheroes Having a Drink

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"No annual raises, but I will 'like' all your hard work on Facebook."

'Everyone's true personality comes out on dress-down Fridays, even the boss's.'

"Make yourself comfortable so that we can discuss your raise."

Subordinate Employee

'We got you a bigger desk. With all the work we'll be dumping on you, you'll be needing it.'

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

InOutYada Yada.

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

'In the corporate world, I'm a survivor.'

'I'm here for 10 years and I don't have a clue about what this company is doing. I'm here just because of the gossip!'

'Miss Barnes, cancel my appointments. If I start swimming now, I can be back in the office in a few weeks.'

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Race for Results

"I'm going in."