Frequent Flyer Miles Achievement T-Shirts

'Now boarding all passengers in the middle class.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

'What zip code are we in now?'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

Walking Luggage.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

A private jet takes off

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"At least this year she got rid of the seat belts."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

Airplane Mode.

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'Flight simulator'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

Vaccination Passport

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

Airplane food