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Complementary Beverages

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Catalogue of little books.

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

Monster Self-Help

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

Well, yes, it's a free library, but...

"Check out my free white paper!"

'I have a big inferiority complex. I don't have a website.'

'Ask not for whom the siren wails...it wails for thee.'

'And that's not all, everyone in the audience today is going home with a brand new Buick!!! Oh wait...That's next Tuesday.'

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

Works in Progress

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

'What happened to the free peanuts?'

Digital Press Killing Off Print-Media

"Oh yes, apparently this one is a copyright symbol."

'Prove it.'

"I agree, but corporate thinks it'll work."

'Polly wants on-line.'

Fiction: Facts Used In Politics

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

Gross Outrage.

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the computer equipment.'

'Buy one get one free' signs coming out of the ground - 'I'm growing them for Tescos'.

I can't vote for Clinton. I just keep thinking about how she said she didn't want to use two separate devices to check her personal and work email. I use six devices! iPhone, Apple Watch, iPad, iMac, laptop, and Kindle Paperwhite. Anyone who isn't packing at least four wifi-capable devices is too old-timey to run my country. You think Ted Cruz is packing? I don't want to have this conversation.

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

Toy - with free cereal.

Harold pushed the 25 coffee refills to the limit