Fraud Story Fan T-Shirts

Robert Macaire as a Bible-selling agent

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Cat Burglar

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

The evidence destroyed

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

Moses as a mobster.

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"Can any of you draw? I'm thinking we should move into children's books."

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

'Don't feel so bad about this. I'll give you a receipt for tax purposes.'

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

Sewee-Cide.

Mafia Nursery Rhymes - sorry Weazel, I'm gonna have to pop you.

The growing problem of employee theft.

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

Change of crime for a bored criminal

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"As his nanny she would have known about his diabetes and et she gave him spoonfuls, yes spoonfuls, of sugar."

"Will the current economic trend end in a whimper or a bang? For answers, let's turn to tonight's guests!"

'You two gun Billy one leg the bandit?'