Fragrance Finesser T-Shirts

"I really didn't want him, but I need him to cover up the fact that I sometimes smell like a wet dog."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Aromatherapy for Men

King Alfred's Daffodil's.

'We know you have a cat.'

"It's not expensive, sir, when you consider it's long smell-by date!"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

Sportswasher's

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."

"The narrative seems contrived."

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

"By the way, thanks for the cologne!"

Jane Krakowski

The ambush.

You'll have to speak up, I can't hear a word you're saying!

'You're being unreasonable,Fred. I can't help it if your 22-pound bass slipped out of my hands.'.

'Cat scans are for felines. I will give your dog a pet scan.'

Overpowering perfume

'Maybe the stuff stinks.'

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

'Say what you like about the All Black scrum, but it's clearly the most fragrant and well groomed in the modern game.'

"Of course it's not a mirage - mirages don't wear Chanel No 5."

"Great Perfume!"

Misread tsp as tbsp.

"The perfume is only £20, the antidote is £250!"

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Graeae

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

'I don't know why, but our new natural perfume line just isn't selling.'

'Old spice?'