Fractal Fanatic T-Shirts

'We did the whole room over in fractals.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Fourth Little Pig

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

The tooth fairy.

"All I can say is thank goodness for teleconferencing."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Hey! Where's that black cat? My ride's ready!"

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Lady of the bath...

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

More Reasons To Beware Of Dog

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Boy and Bear and Monster

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Newt sale

Warrior Woman

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

Catasaurus

"Useless information"

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

"This will be a tricky operation."

The last song before the party exploded.

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'