Fortune Tellers T-Shirts

"Complimentary crystal ball to see when the BLT you ordered might be showing up."

"Sorry, Mr. Flaster. The meek won't inherit the earth -- just the national debt."

"I see a very BRIGHT future for you."

"And that wraps it up for today's headlines. For a preview of what's happening tomorrow, here's Cassandra..."

'What do you see in gold futures.'

'I met my husband at one of these conventions. You could say it was love at second sight.'

"Why don't you see a good dermatologist?"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Why bother?"

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Asking out a palm reader.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Quantum Psychic

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Channelling on the Cheap

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

Pie Filling Reader

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'