Fortune Teller Pillows

'And now over to Mrs Miggins for our financial forecasts...'

'How do you want it - the crystal mumbo jumbo or the statistical probability?'

You will meet a handsome strategic partner.

"This just isn't doing it for me. Could we go back to using the crystal ball?"

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

'That's the skip-forward button. Great for jumping to conclusions.'

"I see a great business relationship developing between you and someone named 'the Colonel'..."

'See if our technical people can get this up and running.'

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"You will make the same foolish mistakes you have made before, not only once but many, many times again."

"I see meetings. Lots of meetings."

Snow Globe Fortune Teller

'I see a bright future, a transformation: Beauty, wings, elegance...'

'Sorry, I don't do financial advice.'

'You're going to get bigger.'

"Oh, we used to use a crystal ball, but hacking into your credit files is much more informative!"

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

Tells it like it was, Tells it like it is, Tells it like it will be.

'When will it be OK to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

"In the future, everyone will have privacy for fifteen minutes."

'Your crystal ball has holes in it!' 'When business is bad I give bowling lessons!'

Fortune Teller and Ophthalmologists: 'See the Future' and 'See the Present.'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'We should have seen it coming.'

Crystal Balls.

'Why don't we wear business suits and call ourselves marketing executives? We could make a lot more money.'

"You will fall backward. But eventually you will spring ahead."

"You are fair, compassionate, and intelligent, but you are perceived as biased, callous, and dumb."

"You had a great summer and you're going to have a great fall."

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'...and you cannot change a thing, as you are completely controlled by your genes.'

'I see a woman with a very large, round nose... Oh, wait, that's my reflection. Let me try that again.'

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

Fortune-teller: 'AHH, what the...?!'