Fortune Philosopher Prints

"Hit 'em right after they won the lottery."

"Someday, you may thank me for breaking what was becoming, in this family, a viscous cycle of inheritance!"

'Milt should be home anytime... moaning as usual about the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

The Best Laid Plans

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

Mine says, 'Blaming China won't work.'

'And everybody expects me to be happy, which only makes things worse!'

'Your life will being when all of your kids are married and the dog dies.'

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

"Either the fortune cookie cutter failed, or you have a lot of issues you're not telling your mother about."

'It says I forgot my wallet.'

'I see you crossing a road...'

'I had a rough year in the market. I can't attract gold diggers anymore. The best I can hope for is a silver digger.'

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

"He says that it's really not that bad down there."

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

'If fate had been kinder, either of us might be living in the White House.'

"Sometimes it's good to just pause and reflect on how obscenely rich we are."

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

'Really? -- the hokey-pokey IS what it's all about?'

"I've half a mind to protest."

Business men talking, "Out here a guy could be lulled into thinking that there is more to life than just the power or money"

'I've noticed that it's only since I started laying golden eggs that everybody wants to be my friend...'

'I see your future investing in a fortune telling business!'

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

"My third and final wish is for money and wealth—again!"

'I believe in kizmet and it is our destiny to be friends for life.'