Fortune Fiend Pillows

"This just isn't doing it for me. Could we go back to using the crystal ball?"

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"He's So Your Type."

'Wait a minute....!

The game comes first...

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

Kicking The Habit

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

Your Palm

"Chasing Investment Yield for Fitness & Profit"

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

"They're not as scary on casual Friday."

'This course is a great ego builder.'

'Whadaya mean my fixed income is broken?'

"Well, I think we've proved our point...you want to push it, or should I?"

'Good news. We just made $21,450 online trading. Now we're only behind $347,364.'

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on . . .'

"The wealth inequality is a good lesson, since a bullish portfolio will make you rich, not happy."

"My third and final wish is for money and wealth—again!"

Scariest Horror Film Ever: National Debt

Typical body language 1 hour after major Lottery win.

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

Formula One Finish Line.

"Sorry son, but I've spent your inheritance fighting inheritance tax."

'This is the new stocks and shares manager.'

"Your investments went down the toilet. You now own stock in a sewage company."

I'm sorry, Mr. Higgins is out right now with his bag of salt looking for an open wound.

'Everything will turn to gold-but don't worry,it won't last....'

"I'm a corporate tax consultant... I've got a loophole named after me..!

'I see money. . . I see more money. . . I see a woman.'

"How's my life line doing?"