Fortune Fiend Pillows

"This just isn't doing it for me. Could we go back to using the crystal ball?"

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"He's So Your Type."

'Wait a minute....!

Kicking The Habit

The game comes first...

'Congratulations! You've just won ten million dollars!'

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

"They're not as scary on casual Friday."

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

"Chasing Investment Yield for Fitness & Profit"

Your Palm

"We love your manuscript! It's exactly the sort of big, sprawling epic we've been looking for!"

'This course is a great ego builder.'

'Whadaya mean my fixed income is broken?'

"Well, I think we've proved our point...you want to push it, or should I?"

'Good news. We just made $21,450 online trading. Now we're only behind $347,364.'

"My father was a very succesful man. He left me enough money that I could marry an idiot."

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

Formula One Finish Line.

'Good news! The stock market is about to explode upwards on . . .'

"The wealth inequality is a good lesson, since a bullish portfolio will make you rich, not happy."

"My third and final wish is for money and wealth—again!"

Scariest Horror Film Ever: National Debt

Queen Ranavola of Madagascar executed any of her subjects who appeared in her dreams....

Typical body language 1 hour after major Lottery win.

"Sorry son, but I've spent your inheritance fighting inheritance tax."

'This is the new stocks and shares manager.'

"I'm a corporate tax consultant... I've got a loophole named after me..!

"Your investments went down the toilet. You now own stock in a sewage company."

I'm sorry, Mr. Higgins is out right now with his bag of salt looking for an open wound.

'Everything will turn to gold-but don't worry,it won't last....'

"How's my life line doing?"

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."