Forgiveness Gurus Pillows

"She's forgiven me."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"She can forgive Nixon, but she can't forgive me."

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"I've been trying to apply that 'forgive and forget' principle..."

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

The Ekert Saga: 'Are you nuts?! If someone locked me in a shed, I'd be furious and want to get revenge!!... Then again, getting angry doesn't make things any better...'

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'I don't believe it! He's gone crawling back to her.'

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

"I'm sorry, Dad. What I did was really stupid, selfish and wrong."

"Lots of people talk to themselves..."

'You forgave her for that last week. When you forgive and forget you're not allowed to forget you forgave.'

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

'So you're saying that if I truly repent all my sins will be deleted?'

'The level of my tolerance is only surpassed by the stupidity of people who don't share my opinion.'

'Let's talk dollars and cents. How many 'loved ones' did you lose in the stock market?'

'Of course I forgive you. That's what friends do. How did you know it fell out of my cone?'

'It was March, 1842. I said, ‘Walter, you can't stay mad FOREVER!''

Turned the other cheek

"Of course you're angry at me for springing a surprise memory quiz on you, but you've got to learn to forgive and forget."