Forgetful Foodies Pillows

'You would forget the doggie bag!'

Forgotten something at the supermarket till?

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

HELLth Food Sprouts

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Fast Food Dieter

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

"He's a fussy eater."

'No glove. No hat. No shoes. ... I'm sorry, Andy, but I'm bringing in a new pitcher. You just don't have your stuff today.'

'My French is not so good.'

"Oh, boy...the leaves are falling....that means it's time to bury my nuts. But I can never find my nuts after I bury them."

'So that's where I left my car keys!'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

'Village store and Food museum'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

"Gun fight at the memory lapse corral."

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

'Tastes just like the cans of soup my Mom used to open and heat.'

"So I lost my bicycle helmet, what about it?"

"Remember your password for five bucks, mister?"

"Honey, have you seen my keys... and my nose?"

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

"I've added some dehydrated non-vegetable oil sulphites so it's more like mum used to make."

"Whoops. This may take longer than usual. I just punched in my pin number."

"A tip?... Yes, I'll give you a tip. Never eat here, the service is terrible!"

Man faced with a fridge full of food can't find the dinner left for him by his wife