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Five Fundamental Forces

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'Same here, we have a female C.E.O., too.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

Senior Partner works at a desk, sign on wall behind her says 'Ms. Davis senior partner - formerly: 'Hey You'.

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

Wrong leadership.

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

Manager - I don't just manage, I excel!

"Now that we reinvented ourselves, who do you think should run the company?"

'We're looking for a CEO who would be willing to take the rap.'

"It's hard to manage a staff meeting in a company whose employees all have laser pointers."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

Change, Change, Change, Change.

'It basically boils down to you need to do stuff better.'

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

'I feel a leader should be approachable.'

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

Obama

Leadership never hibernates.

'Good work is it's own reward, but delegation is even better.'

'I've gone from King of the Jungle to team leader.'

'I have an open-door policy, but only until the air conditioner is repaired.'

'We already have quite a few people who know how to divide. So essentially, we're now looking for people who know how to conquer.'

"Stop following me, please! I'm going to the toilet!"

A good leader will share any success with all involved.

"He just returned from a motivational seminar."

"The test results have come back - you ARE a t**t."

Valentine's Day calls for a romantic candlelight dinner and soft music. Then a trip back to my place for some heavy groping and groaning.

'You can't be CEO, I am!'