For My Son Pillows

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Young Frankenstein"

Robot Parts $5

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Killer Executive Suits.

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Skipping Horse

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Remote control pirate bully

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'