Football Commentary Aficionado Prints

The theraputic quality of the World Cup only comes to the fore with a good xenophobic thrashing of foreigners.

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Raheem Sterling

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Mohamed Salah

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Why moms make bad refs.

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'When I was a kid, we had to do our own instant replays.'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

Cristiano Ronaldo

The Harper Plays Cricket.

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

Playing football with snowmen in goal.

Snowman Football Fan.

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

Football.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

Fox hunting.