Foolishness In Public Pillows

'The stupidity of the defendant's actions was directly proportional to the number of people watching him.'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"Santa's not been happy with your behavior in class and says, get it together or your Christmas won't be merry!"

Poisson d'Avril!

"Professor Zlata! You're just in time to be the planet Neptune!"

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

'Little Nurse' daughter trying to distract Daddy so he cuts himself shaving

"It seems I'm having some credibility issues."

"No more for him, he has to drive."

Ask a Silly Question, Get A Silly Answer

"Relax - I saw a bear do this on TV."

'It's nothing personal against you, Bobo -- it's just that Limbaugh is funnier.'

"Latte for a guy you're sure ordered after you."

'I'm going to tell him I've been good on the chance that my reputation hasn't preceded me.'

Fisherman.

Reindeer's Jacket Reads: IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THE JOLLY OL' FAT MAN FELL OFF!

'Sorry we don't do 'Pay-as-you-ho' contracts'

'Have you started you Christmas Swiping yet?'

Santa pees his name in rooftop snow.

Santa's Workshop - Underwear Gift Division.

No Presents Until Christmas Day

"... And merry Christmas to you too Santa!"

"Come on Ed! Cheer up! Look! Worm Attack! Arrahhh!"

"Try rolling on the ground! Roll around on the ground!"

"I'm not a fallen angel, precisely, but I have had a few stumbles."

Christmas decorations.

"Whoa! Looks like a worker's comp thing, Carl."

"OK, gotta go...hey, why is everyone at my table singing the Hallelujah chorus?"

Intuition Failure

'Wait a minute...you're not Farmer Christmas!'

Those bubble wrap kids.

"Dammit, Trevor! Just say 'Please' so we can get outta here!"