Foodie With A Flair For The Dramatic Pillows

"I'm supposed to sing you the specials. Do you want me to do that?"

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

Jewish Geometry

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

Beef Wellingtons

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

"My bouche was not amused."

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'I'll have the Chairman-of-the-board Lunch, and Dexter here will have the Sissy's Salad.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

'Monsieur, in this café you've got to dance your order.'

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"Now, what? I'm wearing a hair net."

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"