Foodie With A Flair For Art Prints

"The pink ones are sashimi, and I believe the little yellow ones just fell off the Pollock."

"It's Chicken Mole!"

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

Culinary surgery.

The worm that churned!

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

Picasso

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Funky Chef 2

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

Executive Tacos

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

'In case of emergency, break glass.'

'Monsieur, in this café you've got to dance your order.'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

Beef Wellingtons

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."