Foodie Who Loves A Break Pillows

'I didn't feel like cooking today.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"That's it. We’re toast."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Party Animals.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

How about going easy on the carbs

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

Advocado

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Flying sauces.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.