Foodie Under Control T-Shirts

'... and don't watch the Food Channel.'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

Wordplay: Rabbit Punch.

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

"This cat has got to go on a diet...he weighs 78 pounds!"

Food Cooked. Nerves raw.

"Dear Mum, please stop sending me food parcels..."

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

Pizza Fencing

Cannibal: 'FOOOOD FIGHT!

'Excuse me, but is there anywhere we can get something to eat while we're waiting to get something to eat?'

'The chef's salad, sir? You'll have to fight him for it.'

State Fair. Fun. You won a ribbon in the eating contest? What for? Honorable munchin'!

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

Protesting Pineapple Pizza

Traditional chefs revolt against new 'Robo-chef'' technology.

'Enlighten me!'

Policeman wishing for lighter food than meat in hot weather

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

"Luke, use the fork!"

"OK, let's see how tough you are. Just you and me without your gang."

Over eating...don't do it.

Captain Pizza - a man and his pasta fights for the law!

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

Skeleton staff. No food to be consumed on these premises.

"Sorry, sire, could it be under another name?"