Foodie Fender-bender T-Shirts

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"He's a fussy eater."

Doughnut Criminals

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

Pizza Exam: 'Just deliver it around the back of 'B' block. The money will be by the window. . .'

Tiny restaurant portion. Man finds magnifying glass amongst cutlery.

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

'Give me a size 12 please.'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'Please be careful, sir, the plate is hot.'

Murphy's Slaw.

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

Special - Day Old Cones

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

"A tip?... Yes, I'll give you a tip. Never eat here, the service is terrible!"

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'