Foodie Fashion Police Pillows

"I don't care if you're a food critic - you're not combing back in my restaurant wearing only a sash."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

"Beanirrito"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"Just a minute, Mister. You're not going out of here looking like that."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

GM Crops Genie.

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Horse meat scandal.

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Hipster Police Department

'Just think Nigel, if you weren't wearing grey socks and sandals this could be romantic.'

Spanx Tells Me No

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

Salad Hat

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

Pizza Shard

Fried Egg

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

"Remind me - superfood or carcinogen?"

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

Bob's BBQ Aprons: The Spring Collection